


Don't Think About It

by KrysKrossZee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Imprinting, Psychological Trauma, Trauma, Were-Creatures, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:07:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27621823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrysKrossZee/pseuds/KrysKrossZee
Summary: Bill has opened his home to Fenrir Greyback survivors since the war. Most come and go as they please, but Lavender hasn't left since the day she arrived and Bill finds himself drawn to her.
Relationships: Fleur Delacour/Bill Weasley, Lavender Brown/Bill Weasley
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16
Collections: Truth or Dare?





	Don't Think About It

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Truth_or_Dare](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Truth_or_Dare) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Dare: (Dialogue) 
> 
> Character A: "Every time I see you you're always smiling." 
> 
> Character B: "So?" 
> 
> Character A: "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Look at me," Bill said softly, his fingers grazing Lavender's chin as he gently tilted her head upwards.

She was drowning, and any idiot could see that, but he wasn't an idiot. He was the person that was meant to be her mentor, the one to guide her through this messed up situation of being a 'half-werewolf'. He knew that wasn't exactly what she was - she was technically a full werewolf, after all, she just didn't transform at all because of the wolfsbane potion. He didn't transform either, but that was because he had never actually been bitten.

"Look at you?" She repeated, her voice shaking in a way that made his heart ache for her. "Why should I look at you? Why should I do anything?"

Bill swallowed thickly. He knew that every full moon was absolute agony for her - not psychically though. Physically they had things under control, but inside her head, things were a complete mess. She was still dealing with all of her trauma from having been practically eaten alive and left for dead. No-one had even suspected that she was alive until the day after they had moved all the bodies into the Great Hall and had started preparing them for identification.

And now she was living this half-life, mainly cooped up in Shell Cottage with himself and some more of Greyback's victims. Bill didn't know why he had decided to open his home to his fellow survivors, but this was his new normal.

He had to admit that he spent an awful lot more of his time with Lavender than he did any of the others, and while he hadn't quite been able to explain that to anyone, Fleur had made it clear that she knew that it was because he was attracted to her, drawn to her, or at least his wolfy instincts were. He'd been terrified to even think of what that meant, but his wife didn't seem to care all that much. She seemed to be happy, or at least comfortable in the knowledge that the way that he felt about her was very real.

The others all went out and explored the surrounding areas and even mingled with people who weren't werewolves, but not Lavender. Lavender was stuck and he didn't know how to reach her. He didn't know if anyone could reach her, but that didn't stop him from trying.

"I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do, Lavender, but I want to help you and I can't do that if you won't at least let me try." Honesty was the best policy in Bill's eyes. He also knew that he needed to spell it out to her.

Before she came into his care, he'd never met her, so he didn't know what sort of person she had been before, but he knew that Ron had once dated her and he knew that the person that she was now was not at all someone that his youngest brother would have gone for. He tried not to let Ron visit for this reason and for the fact that Lavender seeing him flaunt his relationship with Hermione would not be at all helpful.

Eventually, Lavender turned her head to meet his gaze. Her eyes were blank, almost I'm seeing, the face of someone who had given up a long time ago, but Bill did his best not to let that shake him. He had this desperate need to help her and that wasn't going to go away any time soon.

"Every time I see you, you're always smiling," Lavender said quietly after a few moments in which Bill had simply just watched her and tried to give her an encouraging expression.

He couldn't help but give a small chuckle at her words, however. "So?"

"Doesn't that hurt?"

Bill blinked a couple of times as he thought that through and wondered if she meant mentally, emotionally, or even physically. His scars ran the length of his face, after all, and so much deeper than that.

"I… After a while, you don't even think about it." Bill said quietly as he thought it over. He was talking about pain in general and he wasn't sure if she understood that or if he needed to be more clear, but he wasn't sure that he could. He tried not to think about his own pain, let alone talk about it. That wasn't to say that he didn't talk about what had happened to him. He was quite open about that.

Lavender just stared at him for a moment and it honestly felt as if she could see straight into his soul at that moment. "You know the crazy thing?" She asked as if this whole situation wasn't insane in the first place, "I want to believe you. I want to trust that you know what you're talking about."

Bill felt his smile stretch before he had a chance to stop it. His heart that was still aching for the brunette was slightly warmed by the possibility that she could even imagine trusting him. It told him that there was a glimmer of hope left, and that hope was what he would continue to fight for.

"I do know what I'm talking about." He reassured her. He so badly wanted to take her hand into his or even wrap his arms around her ever so tightly, but he was doubtful that that would be appreciated so instead he just simply shoved his hands into his pockets and let himself stroke the lining there, in an attempt to ground himself.

Lavender's eyes lingered on his for a little longer, and even though he was sure that it was all part of his imagination, Bill was sure that she looked less empty than she had when she had first been asked to listen to him.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink?" He asked as he pushed himself to his feet. He figured that he needed to be a good host, even though he wanted her to think of Shell Cottage as her home. He wanted all of the werewolves to think of Shell Cottage as their safe place, but that want to be increased ten-fold when it came to Lavender.

"No, thanks. I'm okay."

Bill nodded slightly, though he couldn't help but be concerned. He couldn't remember the last time that he had seen her eat or drink anything, but he knew that he couldn't force her to take anything either. She was stubborn, and that wasn't going to change any time soon. He wasn't stupid enough to believe that she was going to completely turn her attitude around in one small conversation - especially not when this was far from his first attempt to get through to her.

He got himself a glass of water from the kitchen, leaving her alone as he took a moment for himself. As soon as he was away from her, he found that he was shaking. He didn't know what that was about, but one glance at his wife and he could see that she had some theories.

"You need to eat," Fleur said quietly as she pretty much forced him to sit down at the table. She wasn't physically stronger than him, but that didn't mean that she wasn't generally the boss of him.

"I need to help her." He knew that she would fully understand where he was coming from and why she, Lavender, was the one that his thoughts felt like they were fixed on.

"I know, and you are," Fleur said softly as she set a plate down in front of him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Baby steps, remember. How does that saying go? You do not need to see the whole staircase to take the first step. It's going to take some time with her, that's all."

Bill let out a soft sigh but he couldn't argue so he just simply tucked into the sandwich that she had made him. He tried not to let his mind run away and back through to the living room where Lavender was probably still sat and probably now just staring into space. He needed to let himself have some time off from worrying about her, but he didn't know how to do that. The only time that he ever seemed to be able to switch his brain off was when he was fast asleep.

Fleur had once told him that it was clear that his wolf desired her wolf, and while that was a tricky concept for him to even be able to comprehend, he was starting to see what Fleur meant. Something seemed to be pulling him towards her anyway and he counted himself lucky that Fleur wasn't angry or even jealous about something that he couldn't at all help, that she had even encouraged him, at times, to explore it.

He had wanted to do actual research into what this could possibly be, but he had discovered that there was very little literature actually written about werewolves other than the fact that their condition was contagious and ruled by the moon. Nothing else was known, and when he had first been attacked, they hadn't even known whether he was going to have any long term side effects.

"Fleur?" He asked as he glanced over his shoulder in his wife's direction. She was stood at the stove, getting a headstart on that evening's meal, one that Bill knew that he should probably help out with and stop obsessing over a girl he hadn't even known for a year yet.

"Hm?" The blonde hummed, not even bothering to look up from the pans she was stirring. "Everything okay?"

"Everything is…" Bill began but he trailed off as he realised that he didn't actually know how to explain it. Everything felt like it was a complete and utter mess, but at the same time, he felt this sort of calmness in his chest - a calmness that he knew came from her and her ability to make everything serene. Fleur was one of the kind and there was about a million things about her that he loved.

"It's okay. You can go back to her." He heard her say as he dropped his eyes to the table. He couldn't help but feel as if he was betraying her or something, even if she had given him verbal permission.

He managed to take a deep breath though and then made to press a soft kiss to her cheek. "Fleur, I love you." He told her before he returned to the living room.

Lavender was still sat there, almost exactly in the same position that he had left her. She probably hadn't expected him to be gone so long, but then he also hadn't even said that he would be back either. He stood there watching her for a moment before he cleared his throat, not wanting to make her jump but also not sure how else to let her know he was back.

Her eyes flickered towards him, which was more of a reaction than he had anticipated. If he hadn't been smiling before he walked into the room then he knew then he was now. She didn't look at him for long but he was going to take it regardless. Any reaction was a positive at this point as far as he was concerned, especially when you took into account the fact that she was so empty.

He sat down in front of her again and looked straight at her eyes. He knew from experience how self-conscious a person could be about their scars and she had far more than anyone else. Slowly, she reached out and took his hand into her own. Bill's smile softened and he glanced down briefly. She felt it too, whatever it was that pulled them together, and because of that, he knew she would be okay.


End file.
